Next Steps
Written By Guest Contributor Rachel Winn
On Tuesday, November 3rd, I received a lot of texts along the lines of “How are you feeling about everything?” and my answer to them all was “Mildly optimistic.” and I was. I saw as my husband talked animatedly, with a glimmer of hope in his eye, that the polls wouldn’t be wrong again. That it would be a landslide, because what happened in 2016, both with the polls and electing Donald Trump, was a mistake you only make once. But as well all know, that’s not what happened.
Both sides were fired up and voted in numbers we’ve never seen before, shattering records, nevertheless in the midst a pandemic.
It’s now November 13th and while it’s clear to most that Joe Biden will be our next president, Donald Trump and many of his supporters have yet to accept this fate. I’ve gone through periods of being glued to the tv and periods of needing space and the mindless distraction of Schitt’s Creek.
At this point, what needs to be done is clear. Our country and its people need help. We’re burning flags and carrying war weapons in protest. We’ve lost faith in our governments and institutions. We don’t know who to believe and who to befriend. We’re scared of certain words (socialism) and don’t feel there are problems with other ones (racism).
You’re not alone if you think the problem, and our country, is too big to fix. I, myself, find my thoughts going there in uncertain times. But here’s what I do know… There are people who want to make it better. On *both* sides.
Princeton University Professor, Eddie Glaude, put it perfectly when he said
“America is not unique in its evils… I think where we may be singular is our refusal to acknowledge them. And the legends and myths we tell in our inherent goodness to hide and cover and conceal, so we can maintain the kind of willful ignorance that protects our innocence.”
Where do we go from here?
Hold politicians accountable to do their job. Their job isn’t to schmooze in Washington and be a controversial talking head. Their job is to help make the lives of their constituents and countrymen better. This can be done by doing the honest thing instead of following the internal data on what “polls well.” This is extremely important on the local level as well. How do we do this? We write to them, we talk to our neighbors, we vote. I saw a post that said “if you think I’m too political, I think you’re too complacent.” And I couldn’t agree more. Complacency holds a low bar for our elected officials. They can do better, and so can we.
Become an activist. What is it that fires you up? Improving our public education system? Ensuring all Americans have healthcare? Gun control? Protecting women’s rights? Find what it is that sets your soul on fire and find a local chapter of an organization that is doing its part to create change. If you don’t find one, create one. I was appalled at the lack of voter turnout in the 2016 election and the constant voter suppression in my home state of Georgia, so I helped launch I Voted Today Stickers, to bring joy to the mail-in voting process and educate voters on everything they needed to know before November 3rd. It has been so rewarding to not just talk but act, and I suggest, if you can, to do the same.
Practice empathy. Empathy is walking in someone else’s shoes. It’s coming to the realization that policy affects the marginalized in a much more significant way than you (not counting climate change), and voting for the person that won’t harm them. Your neighbor isn’t the person that looks just like you. Your neighbor is also the LGBTQ+ person, scared of having their legally-bound marriage retracted. Your neighbor is the daughter of an immigrant, scared to be sent back to a country she’s never called home. The woman who’s scared to take her kid to the ER because she can’t afford insurance, let alone the hospital bill. We need to open our eyes to our real neighbors, not the carbon copies of ourselves. Open our bubble. It also means having the hard discussions with loved ones of differing opinions to see where they’re coming from. Which brings me to my next point...
Stop yelling. We yell because we think our point isn’t getting across. If you feel yourself going there, take a deep breath and take a pause. End the conversation. Yelling gets you nowhere. As my role model, the late Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said,
“Reacting in anger or annoyance will not advance one's ability to persuade."
In my loud-spoken family, we’ve adopted a recent rule of just not talking about it. When we do, I try to get my point across by saying, “this is how I feel, it makes most sense that XYZ should happen, and while I don’t know all the data points on this and I need to learn more, this is why I believe it. I’d love to hear what you think about this as well.” If you’re willing to engage in a dialogue that’s not pointed or accusatory, you’ll be able to go far. Just know, it takes time.
Keep at it. When my husband and I married, I was a Republican and he was a Democrat. I was born and bred red. Fox News was all I knew. They were the only people we were surrounded by and I honestly didn’t pay much attention to politics besides the occasional election night tune-in. I don’t even know if I voted before 2016. *GASP* But Brian shook up my world. The conversations were constant and they were sometimes ugly. We both softened over time. I taught (and am still teaching) him to lessen the hold on his stereotypes and he’s taught me to take a look at the other side. When I did, I liked what I saw. I know a lot of you are experiencing this right now, close friends of mine are currently in the midst. My advice is to let your actions be an example of your beliefs. Don’t just post. Act. Expand your bubble to include people they otherwise would not meet. Volunteer. And just know you’re not alone.
While there are many layers to peel away as to how we got here,
I believe at the core, are different kinds of love both sides have for America.
If you want change, like I do, you’re seen as anti-American by conservative friends and even my close family. I often hear, “Well why don’t you move to Europe then?” Honestly, at times it’s tempting. Trying to reckon with our past in an honest and truthful way, does not mean you hate America. Wanting someone to be the best version of themselves doesn’t mean you hate that person, it means you love them so much you think they’re capable of reaching their full potential. The other side loves the “Old” America so much, they don’t want it to change and in some cases, think it’s already changed too much.
We can do this guys. We can create an America that’s beautiful for everyone. We can look at a flag and not see it burning to the ground or being defaced with a president’s name. It’s going to take hard work, but as Glennon Doyle says, “We can do hard things.”