Holding on to Hope
Influence expert and author Joseph Wong says,
“Influence is our ability to lift people up to our perspective.”
I’ve recently rediscovered the uplifting effect sharing my ideas has on my spirit and have tried to leverage any influence I have to lift up others.
In November, I tried to get moms on the Biden train for fear of what four more years under Trump would bring. After the election, I invited all aboard the peace train. I’m now on what feels like the crazy train, and the only thing I want to lift is the covers up over my head.
In a July NYT piece, journalist and author Seyward Darby wrote,
“History shows that there are always people who turn to hate in the very moments that others find hope.”
The Georgia Senate wins filled me with pride and hope that progress and healing were on the horizon. I resisted my urge to gloat, instead quoting St. Francis of Assisi’s peacemaking prayer and penning a poem about unity. They say hope floats, but the hateful acts during the Capitol insurrection sank mine.
The break in by the domestic terrorists broke my heart, and the reactions, or lack thereof, shattered it. I, like many of you, moved mentally from shock to sadness to fury. And while I’m trying to hold on to the hope, the anger has a tight hold and is pulling us all down.
I’ve long been an unabashed opponent of shame, seeing it as a roadblock, especially for women, on the path to finding and living one’s purpose. But as I listened to Trump recite his love letter to the terrorists, my view changed. Shame has a rightful place amongst the knowing oppressor who takes advantage of peoples' willingness to believe to further his own power at any cost.
In my book, Trump, along with Ted Cruz, Josh Hawley and the gaggle of Republican politicians who sold their soul to the Donald devil should sit with their head down in a heavy heap of shame for as long as it takes to own up to the wickedness of their ways.
The day after the Capitol attack, I listened to friend, fellow Ruston, LA native, professor and NYT Bestselling author Dr. Brittney Cooper eloquently rage about the events of the day, and centuries, prior. As always, her historical knowledge and willingness to be real and raw when it matters most inspired me. But as a liberal white girl who hated the very idea of being grouped with other indifferent, insincere, ineffective or downright insane white folks, the words she shared, specifically these from her friend James Roland, also motivated me,
“All of us should come to the place where we are comfortable with the notion that we have some ideas about how we think people oughta live, and that doesn’t mean individually how you oughta live, but collectively how we oughta live.”
I’ve arrived at that place, ready to sow the seeds of peace by speaking my own. I’ve listened respectfully to many on the opposite side of the political and moral aisle, and I now ask for the same respect as I push through my fear of stepping on toes to take a step towards restoring my faith, not only in our nation, but in humanity itself.
Any epiphanies, apologies or softened hearts resulting from others connecting with my perspectives will be cherries on top of the sundae that is the simple sharing of my truth in an effort to heal and hold onto hope.
To the Q-Anon moms, you’ve been duped and are doing the dirty work of the very men who did the duping.
Despite what may have been good, albeit misguided, intentions to save children from Tom Hanks and the Democrats and/or a way to connect with anyone besides your kids during the arduous days of pandemic life, your propelling of this polluted propaganda is so very bad. Now is your chance to take off the blinders - heck, you can even claim brainwashed victim status if you’d like, but if you keep going, you will have to live with the shame of harvesting hate.
You likely don’t see yourself as racist, and I know you believe you’re one of the good ones, but so did these Atlanta gals hiding under hoods. I beg you to publicly admit the error of your ways and use your influence to try and right the wrongs in any way you can. Maybe you will be able to prevent further violence like the death of your fellow female follower Ashli Babbit or at least shed some of the shame that likely has or inevitably will weigh you down.
Female members of the new Dixie Protestant Women’s Political League in Atlanta, GA in 1922. George Rinhart/Corbis via Getty Images as seen here.
To Republican friends who tried to save face via Facebook but couldn’t resist the urge to compare the insurrection to Black Lives Matter protests, your “whataboutism” is tired and weak, and you can and should do better.
I’m not going to call you a racist because that word is getting us nowhere, but I’m going to implore you to open your mind, swallow your pride and learn a little history - history which, in your defense, was withheld in school. I’m a progressive, liberal Democrat who lives in Atlanta and sends my kids to public school. I am also a privileged white girl who grew up in Ruston, LA and who upon moving to the Bible belt town from a white, Atlanta suburb, believed that all Black people were poor. I’ve made my share of race-related mistakes, including a recent, false assumption that an African American woman standing aside her Toyota Corolla in my neighbor’s driveway had mistakenly arrived at the wrong house with my Uber eats order. That may seem benign to some of you, but it’s a symptom of a system that is anything but.
And no, I don’t have white guilt or shame, I have a willingness to learn, do better and be on the right, not the white, side of history. I invite you to join me.
via Kelly Kline / Flickr and BLink O’fanaye / Flickr. as seen on brand agency Good’s editorial site.
“To those accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.” - Anonymous
To female Republican loyalists who take any part in the demonization of fellow female elected officials,
you, too have been duped, many of you by the men you love most who as Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said, have placed women in cages pretending to be pedestals.
If you read up on these women, I bet you will see some commonalities. Speaker Pelosi was “raised to be holy” while her brother was groomed to follow in the mayoral footsteps of their father. She was a stay-at-home mom to five kids before running for public office. Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez lost her dad to cancer, and it was her family’s financial struggle in the wake of his passing that motivated her to make change. Madame VP Elect Harris is a trail-blazing prosecutor, step “mom-ala”, doting aunt and children’s book author.
You may disagree with their policies or simply find them annoying, but any hate you have towards them, is disguised hate you have towards yourself. There is no denying the fact that a huge heap of misogynistic bullshit has become, and one could argue, always has been, at the backbone of the ideology you continue to claim. If you love the ideals of the old Republican party, then please stop supporting what it has become.
If the power of other women scares you, could it be because you have yet to step into your own?
Maybe now is the time to make like Elsa and step into your own strength. And if that happens to be seeking the power of elected office, I hope no one objectifies you the way the aforementioned public servants have been, regardless of your policy preferences.
And to the men, especially fathers, Sunday school teachers and coaches still toting the Trump line,
you have pledged your allegiance to a man much more proud of his “pussy-grabbing” privilege than of the country he claims to lead. As a woman and a mother of a little girl, please know the sexualized, bigoted memes and verbal bashing of female law makers deeply offend me and likely offend and embarrass your daughters, mothers, wives and sisters.
And on the topic of misogynistic men, Mr. former Sen. David Perdue, your rude, purposeful mispronunciation of the newly elected Vice President’s name was gross, and I’m curious to know how your undying love for Trump is treating you now.
I think it’s safe to say that powerful women threaten you guys, and so, I share these words from Barack Obama, a man whose own power likely does as well, but nonetheless, a gentleman of principle who sets a good example of how to treat and respect powerful women,
“All of us have to recognize that being a man is first and foremost being a good human. If you’re confident about your strength, you don’t need to show me by putting somebody else down. Show me by lifting somebody else up.”
Michelle Obama, Sasha Obama, Barack Obama & Malia Obama | CREDIT: MICHELLE OBAMA/TWITTER
To the Christian nationalists spouting hate in the name of Jesus,
please take some time to educate yourself on the long-standing role white supremacy and the discrimination against women and girls has played in the church. I’m a former Jesus freak who once proudly witnessed to my sinful classmates while wearing my “friends don’t let friends go to hell” t-shirt, so please know I empathize with the righteousness you feel in your war against what and more tragically, who, you deem evil. However, I do not condone it because it’s based on lies you’ve been sold from the ever-powerful pulpit. Your personal liberties should and do not trump (pun intended) those of people who aren’t from your neck of the woods. If you truly have love in your heart for your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, then please denounce the folks who do not. If you still feel righteous in your efforts, maybe the war to fight is the one with yourself.
“I think the most challenging thing for me in my life and in the Bible is that we worship Jesus as the Prince of Peace. And America is constantly at war.” - Jimmy Carter
Jimmy Carter: A Rock & Roll President The music and messages about the Baptist Sunday school teacher, poet, peace advocate and former POTUS’s love of music is worth the watch - even/especially if you believe the news network on which it premiered is fake.
To my friends on both sides of the aisle lamenting about how you are so over, under or above politics,
claiming family as all that matters on Instagram under your Christmas-card photo, please know how privileged your platitudes are. I’m not asking you to feel shameful about such privilege, rather I’m asking you to simply acknowledge it and refrain from selling yourself short. Now is not the time to bury your head in the social media sand or shrug off these uncomfortable issues as distracting, inconvenient stuff, because it’s stuff that matters. For most of you, the life you so rightly love, just like Andy’s cerulean sweater in the epic The Devil Wears Prada scene, was chosen for you by powerful people who look like you. I wish Trump and the atrocities he incites would fade away as his presidency soon will, but I know they will not unless we collectively ensure that they do.
You may say these truths are only my own, but they are based on history and facts not manipulative theories conveniently claiming all other information sources are fake. And while they may hurt, the truth often does, right? And in my experience, healing comes on the heels of feeling, and growth requires pain.
I’m not Catholic and am much more of a free-thinking person of faith than a follower of any one religion or deity, but I’m going to quote another Saint,
“Hope has two beautiful daughters; their names are Anger and Courage. Anger at the way things are, and Courage to see that they do not remain as they are.” - St. Augustine of Hippo
I’m still angry, but sharing with you feels like courageous progress and the best way I know how to give hope a chance to float back up.
All respectful questions and comments are welcomed, and I will do my best to reply.
EDITOR’S ADDENDUM (1/18/21): On this day dedicated to honoring the late Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., I’m sharing this letter hosted by the African Studies department of the University of Pennsylvania. King penned in April, 1963 addressed to fellow clergy while behind the bars of a Birmingham jail. It so poignantly and poetically exemplifies the messages I was attempting to make in the above post in an infinitely more powerful way than I ever could.