Finding Inner Peace Outside
Author and mother Amy Pilato is reframing spirituality with help from Mother Earth.
We hear the word mystic thrown around a lot these days, but what does it really mean? Mystic maven and author Mirabai Star told O Magazine, “A mystic is someone who has an experience of union with The One - and The One may be God, it may be Mother Earth, it may be the cosmos.”
Franciscan friar and author Richard Rohr says in his book A Spring Within Us, that mystic “simply means one who has moved from mere belief systems or belonging systems to actual inner experience.” It seems that most who write about mystics agree that an affinity for nature, truth seeking and interconnectedness are key.
Author, nature enthusiast, photographer, yogini and mother Amy Pilato oozes these characteristics and more making her a modern mystic in my book with a story and wisdom I’m honored to share.
Back Story
I’ve never shared a glass of wine or cup of coffee with Connecticut-based Amy, but thanks to Instagram, I feel like I’ve known her for years. A shared connection in her sister-in-law Rose who I met during my Spanx PR days, led me to find in Amy several shared sensibilities. One morning as I dropped down the Insta rabbit hole, I landed softly on Amy’s page filled with birds, the moon and words of wisdom woven together in an inspiring-yet-approachable way. I felt a magnetic sense of connection, comfort and curiosity and began to understand what everyone means when they talk about finding your tribe.
After a few DM’s I asked if I could call her not sure why I felt compelled to do so, and she graciously obliged. I learned about her children’s book and loved her even more.
Her pursuit of life lived courageously as her purest, truest self is beyond inspiring to me, and the way she’s helping her son and all kids see their own magic through the magic of Mother Nature is the ultimate representation of what I consider a Moonlit Mama. So without further ado, please do your soul a favor and read Amy’s answers to my questions below and order.
Q&A
I BLINDLY DM’D YOU ABOUT A YEAR-AND-A-HALF AGO AFTER FEELING SO COMPELLED TO DO SO THAT I DIDN’T EVEN CARE IF IT SEEMED WEIRD.
I’D LOVE YOUR TAKE ON MY OUTREACH AND ANY SIMILAR CONNECTIONS YOU’VE FELT WITH STRANGERS (BOTH ON IG AND IRL). IS IT COINCIDENCE, RANDOM OR DIVINE INTERVENTION?
I love synchronicity, whether it happens in nature or meeting someone online. In recent years, I’ve made meaningful connections through Instagram with teachers, mentors, healers and experts in areas that interest me. I’ve developed friendships and see it as an extension of the life I am living. It has certainly expanded my circle of kindred spirits, and I think that the IG connections can be random and divinely inspired. If you show up there with the intention of sharing yourself, it becomes less random and more intentional.
Just the other day someone who has been following me for years made a comment on my stories. It just happened to be a rough day, and her outreach sparked a conversation that was inspiring and healing. We messaged back and forth for hours. My perspective of the day changed. I had never had communication with her before, so why on this day? She brought incredible insight and light to my day. It was quite a gift.
I FELT A KINSHIP WITH YOU OVER OUR SHARED LOVE OF BIRDS AND NATURE, PARTICULARLY OWLS, AND I ADMIRED THE WAY YOU COMMUNICATED YOUR CONNECTION WITH THE “WINGED ONES.”
CAN YOU SHARE MORE ABOUT YOUR BIRD CONNECTION AND FOR FOLKS WHO DON’T KNOW WHAT A TOTEM IS, CAN YOU EXPLAIN AND SHARE ABOUT YOURS?
Eagle Woman by artist Susan Eleanor Seddon Boulet
When I was a teenager, I had a poster hanging in my room of a half bird, half woman perched on a rock. The sun is beside her, and in her hand is a small cup. A dream catcher with feathers came down from her hair. I can’t remember where I bought it or if someone bought it for me. But I remember feeling like it epitomized my spirit. In my understanding, a totem is an aspect of life (animal, plant, tree) that shows itself to you over and over again in a meaningful, synchronistic way. For me, it has been birds, or winged ones. The Owl and hummingbirds especially in the past 10 years, as well as butterflies and dragonflies. I had forgotten about that poster after college. I don’t know if I packed it away or where it went. I came across it again as an adult. Susan Eleanor Boulet is the incredibly talented artist who painted it, and she called it Eagle Woman. She represents our ability to break out of age old stereotypes to find a new definition of being alive. When I was younger the image symbolized freedom. The Eagle woman seemed to always be looking out at the horizon for something else.
I felt a strong desire to go long distances, to see the world, and to be free. I was a seeker of the unknown as a child. I still am. I also always had a place in my heart for nature.
A few years back I was going through a particularly tough situation in my life that I was seeking clarity about. I sat at my altar with my oracle cards and pulled “She who rides with the owl brings justice.” The meaning of the card held tremendous relevance to what I was going through. After spending time meditating, I went out in the woods and played my drum thanking Mother Earth and the trees for listening. As I got up, I simply asked spirit for more magic in my life. I came home, pulled on some rubber gloves to wash the dishes, and there in the tree directly in front of me, was the owl. I hadn’t seen her at that point for many years.
Mother earth is beautiful in her capacity to receive our emotions. This is synchronicity. This is the magic. This is the meeting of the sacred and the mundane in our everyday lives when we request it, notice it and deeply honor it when it occurs. I grabbed my camera, so overjoyed that I listened to my inner knowing and bought it for when I knew this day would come. I pulled up a chair and sat with her for hours, alternating looking into her eyes, listening to her and taking photos. She has been with me a long time, and she hasn’t left me since. She comes and goes, but always returns serendipitously.
Having her as a totem is profound and difficult to express. She is always with me, and I can hear her speak. I see and hear her in my dreams and often can’t differentiate if I am hearing her while I sleep or if she is actually outside my window! Every winged one I cross paths with is special. I had a session with a shamanic woman, and when she was channeling she asked, “where is the bird house?” I was shocked because I had just taken down the bird house because the raccoons and squirrels were breaking in. She said, “they are upset, they are your ancestors and they want to be fed!” I understood immediately and feed the bird steadily now as part of my offering to the spirit world.
WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO WRITE AND PUBLISH YOUR FIRST BOOK I AM POWERFUL?
The process of writing the book was a mysterious one. I have been writing for as long as I can remember, and my sister still teases me that I never wanted to play with her because I was always writing. After graduating college, I moved to London to work and to travel in Europe. After returning home, my father was in a motorcycle accident that left him in a coma with a traumatic brain injury. My dreams of travel and adventure quickly shifted to a life and death situation, and I ended up living at home for three years to help care for my father. I got a job at a publishing company and tried my best to embrace my new normal.
The experience with my father far exceeded the spiritual lessons of any of my travels and felt like an initiation of sorts - a beautiful, albeit painful invitation into the depths of unconditional love.
My father's motorcycle accident really shaped me. My relationship deepened with him in a way that was beyond words. I guess because we no longer had words. I felt that for the first in my life he understood my strength of spirit. I was able to be present with him when everyone in his life only saw how he had changed. He didn’t change to me. He was paralyzed, couldn’t eat, speak or walk, and I still thought he was the most extraordinary person in the world. We would laugh and cry together, my connection to him was very healing to me. After he passed he was so close to me all the time. He found ways to communicate with me. He still does.
I was so inspired by the therapists who were tasked with his healing that I decided to pursue a career in Occupational Therapy. I was taking the prerequisite at my local university, when a girl approached me and asked what path of study I was pursuing. I told her I was entering a program for Occupational Therapy and needed a few courses in science because I was an English major. She said, I think you should be a massage therapist instead. So, apparently I was a big believer in synchronicity even then! I signed up for a massage therapy clinic, fell in love and started a program in clinical massage therapy. I had a fulfilling career in my private practice for fifteen years.
A few years after my father passed away he came to me in a dream and asked me to write the words of the story. I began writing a memoir about his life, our relationship and the profound experience that we endured as a family. I wrote the memoir on and off for years hoping to one day have it published. One day I was speaking with a spiritual mentor who said to me, you are going to write books and have many published. I thought, wow, what a wonderful confirmation. She said yes, you are going to write children’s books. I laughed and said, no. No, not children’s books. I am writing a memoir. I never had any desire or given any thought to writing children's books. My son was still very young, and around the time he was two I began having a very difficult time with issues it brought up around my own young childhood. It was a devastating time and I sought help from intuitive healers and therapists. I was deeply mourning how broken I perceived that little me was at that age. It was then I heard a voice, it was a guide or perhaps an angel, say very sternly and lovingly to me, don’t you ever forget how powerful that little girl was. I ran and grabbed a notebook as I was guided from there about everything from the title to the book, how the story would unfold and how I would publish it.
That’s how I Am Powerful was born. It is a story that speaks to nature’s way of reflecting our true nature back to us.
When I had my son, I was always looking for spirit-filled books that were a little more open ended in terms of a belief system. It wasn’t that I was against religious books. I read beautiful books to my son and that weren’t exactly aligned to the message that I wanted for him. I wanted to read stories to my son that were empowering, but didn’t have all the answers. It’s probably because that is the way I grew up. I was raised by loving and beautiful parents, but my creative imagination was often discouraged with explanations and dogma that didn’t speak truth to my spirit.
I Am Powerful is my first published book. But I recently found my very first book that I wrote in 4th grade, my son’s age now! It’s called The Mystical Rainbow. I noticed a note on the back from my teacher, Sister Edna. She wrote, “a lovely story, keep writing you will be famous one day.” When I read that, I was filled with so much hope. A Catholic school nun loved my story about mysticism!
It is amazing to me the way life has come full circle. I am not only writing my books but I am self publishing my second book. I was a Catholic school girl, raised in a Catholic family and I was writing about a unicorn appearing to me in a rainbow and teaching me mystical truths. It's profound to me. The thread. It’s similar to a totem I suppose. What speaks to our soul? Are we listening?
It also speaks to the phenomena that our lives really are a sacred continuum of unfolding purpose if we can remain true to ourselves.
I am grateful that I had the strong will even at a young age to follow my truth. That is Eagle woman. It takes courage and strength to forge your own way ahead.
ANYONE WHO FOLLOWS YOU ON IG CAN SEE THAT YOU’RE A TAROT-CARD TURNING YOGINI, BUT YOU SHARED WITH ME YOUR GOAL TO GIVE THE CONNECTION TO DIVINE EARTH AND SPIRIT IT’S RIGHTFUL INTELLECTUAL PLACE MAKING MORE ACCESSIBLE TO ALL.
WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY THAT?
One of many amazing photos shot and shared by Amy on Instagram.
Divine earth is a term I began using to express the profound healing ability of nature. We know that there is a grounding energy to mother earth. There are many books about forest bathing and the real physical, qualitative scientific benefits to spending time in nature. But beyond the physical healing capacity of nature, there is a spiritual aspect to it that I’ve known since I was a child. It can be difficult to articulate that without being pegged as a hippie.
Terms like hippie, tree-hugger, free spirit, nature lover are all endearing, but I also think they can undermine the profound wisdom that is available through spending time in nature. But it can’t easily be put into words. It’s a knowing about life, a connection of my soul to spirit that reveals itself to me in the quiet of the woods.
FINDING THE WORDS TO DESCRIBE WHAT IS BEYOND LOGIC MAY NOT COME EASILY FOR ALL, BUT YOUR WRITING MAKES IT SEEM THAT IT DOES FOR YOU. CAN YOU SHARE A LITTLE MORE ABOUT YOUR BELIEF SYSTEMS, SPIRITUALITY AND FAITH?
I might say that nature is my church. But not as a way to dismiss what church is for those who find comfort in that way. I don’t go into the woods to worship. I go into the woods for communion. It is a mysterious experience, much like any other faith. It’s experiential. We often want to categorize or identify what it is we believe, but that has always been tricky for me.
I went into the woods on mother’s day and sat crying because I missed my mother. I saw the owl fly by me into a nook in the tree and discovered her new baby nestled inside. It was such joy I felt. There was an instant connection. It was beyond human / animal language. It was spirit speaking. We are both mothers. Mother earth is my mother. I am mother earth’s daughter. Losing my beloved mother quickly to a cancer was devastating. I wasn’t ready to be motherless. I hated it actually. It was through my time with divine mother earth that I understood, I am indeed not motherless at all. I could never be. I began sensing into the energy of creation, it is the mother!
I was so confused by Catholicism. The Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Where is the mother? Somewhere in the midst of building the church and religion, she was deemed an unimportant part of the creation cycle. My spiritual practice is in essence reclaiming her.
There is a perfect balance intended between the sacred feminine and the sacred masculine.
I took a course in college called Humanism and Mysticism and read a book called Heading toward Omega about near death experiences. Reading about energy and light and spirit, the chakras and kundalini embodied a mystery that I knew existed. I had very mystical and spiritual experiences as a child. There were things that were hard to explain to Catholic parents. I had imaginary friends and collected frogs and newts and talked to trees. I always sensed the spirit of things.
I am also drawn to zen philosophy. There is something healing about being present to a blade of glass, an orb of water hanging on a leaf after the rain, sitting with a tree. People want to demoralize it and call in nature worship or dismiss it as heathen or hippie. To me it is divine. It is sacred. If you sit and watch a hummingbird, you understand there is magic there. There is powerful teaching there. If you ever get the chance to sit with an owl, you know it is profound. Spirit has many ways of manifesting.
WHAT WAS THE HARDEST PART ABOUT PUBLISHING YOUR FIRST BOOK, AND HOW DID IT HELP YOU WITH YOUR NEXT ONE? WHAT HAS SURPRISED YOU THE MOST?
I would say writing the book was the easy part. I knew how I wanted it to look and what I wanted it to say. The hardest part was navigating the publishing aspect. I chose to work with a small publisher in hopes the collaboration would ease some of my fear about putting my work into the world, but conversely it felt lonely. I didn’t realize how tough the timing would be with several starts and stops thanks to multiple schedules and priorities to consider. I don’t regret it because it brought an awareness of our own responsibility for our life, our art, our creations by revealing where we might be hiding or not showing up fully.
The experience motivated me to embrace the technical side of self publishing which was tough, as there was so much new to learn. After being in a field based around touch and healing and being largely a stay at home mom, I was beginning to use parts of my brain that hadn’t been used in a while. It was scary, but also incredibly satisfying.
I know now that there are really no wrong decisions as long as you are working towards your goal. I’m proud that my book was published and well received, and I’ve already published a second edition.
What has surprised me the most about the book was the realization that I didn’t need to stop writing for adults in order to write a children’s book. When I started receiving reviews and even texts from friends, I would hear this is my new favorite book. I thought, am I doing this wrong? I would hear just as often how they loved the book as I would hear that the child loved this book! I hope that I can continue to write books for kids that parents enjoy reading and that touches the adult heart as well.
Amy and her baby boy who is now 9.
YOU HAVE ONE SON. WHAT ARE THE THINGS YOU’RE TRYING TO TEACH/INSTILL IN HIM...AND WHAT HAS/IS HE TEACHING YOU?
After I had my son, I started cutting back at my private massage practice to be a stay at home mother. It ended up being the time and container I needed to work on issues around my early childhood as well as finally process the loss of my parents. I had the opportunity to slow down and embrace motherhood. We live in a forested area and I would put my son in the Baby Bjorn and walk in the woods. I often write that nature heals. The support of the earth beneath my feet, and mother earth as my divine mother provided deep levels of healing.
The biggest lesson I’ve instilled in my son is space. The breadth of space in nature and the depth of space in his own being. I try to encourage him to discover answers to some of life questions on his own. I think that space was something I missed when I was young. I’d find it in the woods, there was no shortage of wonder there. But in my life, my parents, the church, or my teachers attempted to answer everything for me. I found it contracting and frustrating. No one seemed to want to listen to a child. So the biggest gift I try to give my son is the great “I don’t know.” It can be very hard as adults to leave space, to understand that we don’t have to have all the answers for our children. Hearing his perception of the world is breathtaking to me. He has taught me so much just by simply being himself. It’s not always easy, but I think there is always a lot we can learn from each other by allowing someone to be themselves.
YOU’RE A PHOTOGRAPHER. WHEN DID YOU PICK THIS UP AS A HOBBY, AND TELL ME A LITTLE MORE ABOUT YOUR WOODLAND HOME AND THE SUBJECTS YOU SHOOT AROUND IT.
About 13 years ago, when we bought our home that sits at the edge of the woods, an owl began showing up. It felt important and beautiful and every time she came I wished I had a good camera to photograph her. I have always loved photography as a hobby especially during times I travelled. I have stunning pictures of nature and landscapes that I took with my little point and shoot camera, so I decided it was time to get a camera again so I could be ready if I ever saw the owl again. So, that is how my love of photography really grew into a hobby that has become a big part of my life. I always have my camera with me. I began taking photos of the moon and fell even more in love with her. That led me to recognize the moon and night sky as a totem of sorts. Taking photographs has a profoundly beautiful way of bringing me intimately into relationship with the what is one the other side of the lens.
WHO IS SOMEONE YOU ADMIRE AND WHY?
Oh goodness. There are so many people I look up to! I will say that I am really inspired by people who aren’t afraid to be different. I still wonder and worry about what my family thinks of my books and my Instagram account, but then I remember Sister Edna, my fourth grade teacher. If she could believe in me, then I can believe in myself.
AS A PUBLISHED CHILDREN’S BOOK AUTHOR, WHAT IS THE BEST ADVICE YOU WOULD GIVE TO OTHERS LOOKING TO PURSUE A LITERARY CAREER OR PUBLISH A PASSION PROJECT?
It is important to take a risk. The creative path is not the easiest path. There are no set hours or paychecks! I am a procrastinator and get easily distracted with bird watching, taking photos and finding other things to do. The biggest advice for myself and others is to just start. Go to the work each day and then momentum builds upon itself until you find that you are so immersed you can’t step away. This is when it gets really exciting and you are in the flow of the creative process.
I THINK WE, AS WOMEN AND ESPECIALLY MOMS, CAN HAVE A HARD TIME LISTENING TO OUR OWN INTUITION BECAUSE OUR DESIRE TO LISTEN TO THAT OF THOSE WE LOVE CAN DROWN IT OUT.
WHEN YOU HAVE A TOUGH DECISION TO MAKE, WHAT DO YOU DO TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO?
In my life, the outside voices haven’t been the biggest obstacle to pursuing a writing career. The resistance has come from within as a lack of confidence in my abilities, procrastination and fear of being judged. The amazing thing about having the first book published is that it is in the world, and everything is just fine. The work is probably never ready or perfect, but sometimes you have to share what you have and set it free to land where it will.
Amy’s “ode to the trees,” The Trees Speak
I ADORE YOUR SECOND CHLDREN’S BOOK THE TREES SPEAK FOR IT RHYTHMIC, MAGICAL MESSAGE AND WOULD LOVE TO KNOW HOW IT CAME TO YOU?
The Trees Speak, is mildly autobiographical in a playful way. The story is about a little girl who walks in the woods and asks the trees, what do you need from me? It does have an environmental aspect to it, as with each book sold, a tree is planted. But it is a story that really speaks to the spirit of giving, of reciprocity with nature, and of course, deep gratitude for the natural world.
The trees and plants are these great beings who were created to help us breathe. They carry the wisdom of the creator. When I was telling my family that the next book I wrote is about gratitude for the trees, someone asked, what about gratitude for the creator? It really struck me as an odd question. To me the creator is in the trees, just as the creator is in us. How do you separate the breath from the person breathing?
In my heart, the truth I know for sure is that I am never ever separated from the source of creation.
I hope that it is a book that speaks to adults as well as children. I hope it serves as a gentle reminder of gratitude for the natural world and its boundless gifts.
Be sure to pickup Amy’s books on her site or Amazon and for gorgeous pics of her feathered and furry friends, soulful insight and updates on upcoming works (I’m hoping she adds the memoire to her collection) follow her on IG @amy_f_pilato.
And check out five of our her favorite books in her Expert Edit below.
1) The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley
2) Bird Girl and the Man who Followed the Sun by Velma Wallis
3) Street Zen The Life and Work of Issan Dorsey by David Schneider
4) The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran
5) The Wisdom of Insecurity by Alan Watts
